The past few days have been full of emotion for me. I celebrated the one-year anniversary of donating a kidney. Thanks to social media, I re-read numerous messages of love and support to our family. I spent the weekend connecting with my dear friends who stayed in the hospital with me, organized meals for us in the weeks following, and basically cheered me on.
We had dinner with the recipient and her family. It has been incredibly moving to think back on how, at this time last year, she and I were in hospitals across the street from each other, having surgery at the same moment, not knowing each other, but praying for each other. I know now that both of our circles of family and friends were lifting up and sending positivity to not only the woman they knew, but the other woman involved. Two separate communities, unknown to each other, each praying for and thinking of the other. It’s a lot to take in.
When I donated, I was told to prepare for the possibility that the transplant may not work, and/or that I may never meet the recipient. Not only did it work, but we were able to meet the recipient and her family a few months later and have now become treasured friends. It’s incredibly beautiful. Her younger brothers are the same age as my boys and they enjoy playing together. As I did in the news story that alerted me to her need, I completely identify with her mother and feel a closeness to her. We have shared a few meals together over this past year, and we truly enjoy each other’s company.
It has been an enrichment to our lives that we never expected.
Her family was emotional during our dinner together over the weekend. They told us how their lives are so different than they were a year ago, when she was so ill and tied to dialysis several times a week. They feel they can never express their gratitude properly for the way in which we have changed their lives. I still can’t fully digest that!
My husband and I spoke about it on the way home–how what’s truly amazing about hearing that is that our lives haven’t changed at all! I had what I look back on now as a short recovery and period of quiet, and now am just as healthy and active as I was before donating. (To be honest, those few weeks of rest, went by way too quickly! I joined a social media group called Kidney Donor Athletes, which I love being a part of, but they all post about how anxious they are to get back to peak performance, running big races only a few months post donation, etc. Here I am on the other end, wishing I could have had a few more days of lying around watching TV and avoiding my chores! It was over quickly!) 😉
We also spoke about the timing–I decided in part to go ahead with donating because I was largely unemployed due to the pandemic. I didn’t have much to organize in regards to time off work. I used the time of rest to search for jobs, as I was worried I wouldn’t be able to teach yoga in a financially sustainable way again. I had three classes per week at the time, so when I did go back to teaching after 4 weeks off, it was comfortable.
One year later, I teach 14 classes per week. I am regularly asked to do more. I have been meeting such wonderful people in my classes and am absolutely loving my schedule and what I get to do for a living, calling it “work.” A true blessing!
In the hospital, I met the surgeon who transplanted the kidney into the young girl. She said that because I’m quite small, the kidney was the perfect size for this woman, also on the small side.
That is just one more reason that this all seems meant to be. Despite my fears, despite the negativity I encountered before donating, the stars truly seemed to align to make this happen. Our lives are the same now as they were a year ago, only richer by this beautiful, community-building experience.
My only issue is the dear family’s gratitude. I have been told that it is completely natural to be overwhelmed with gratitude for a gift like this. I understand that. I would feel the same. But now that we are friends, I worry they feel they need to express their gratitude whenever we see each other. I was not prepared for that. It makes me feel like I did this for selfish reasons–to be fawned over from now on, told how wonderful I am, given gifts. That is definitely not why I did this. I hope one day they will be able to just enjoy being with our family and know that we feel their gratitude and love, and that it is enough.
As World Kidney Day is tomorrow, I have also been thinking about the thousands of people on the waiting list for a kidney, dying due to the wait. I wish it wasn’t this way. I hope I can help more people see that they can do this, that it won’t compromise their health or lessen their abilities at all. Ordinary people like me, not only super heroes, can save a life while preserving their own!
One of those people waiting for a kidney is a former college friend, who I reconnected with through my own journey. She has been incredibly supportive to me during our talks, and gracious in sharing her own struggles and experiences. She is a loving mother of two boys and a skilled child therapist, living life to the fullest potential she can, while she waits, tied to nightly dialysis.
If anyone out there is ready to look into the possibility of donation, or knows someone who is, please reach out to me. I’m happy to help in whatever way I can. Love to all humans!
americanmommydownunder 