Pity Party

So, Zach is tolerable these days—he’s getting up too early in the mornings, so he’s tired and fussy and likes to be carried A LOT, mostly by Steve.   But it’s fairly manageable.  Drew, however, is another story.  He has become a holy terror and I have no idea how to parent him right now.   As far as potty training, he’s on par with about a 16-month-old, aware that he’s done something in his pants, but doesn’t really care that it’s still in there.   Everything I can find in terms of tips on dealing with that says to be supportive, let it come with time.  Well, I’m trying, but when he’s trying to get me to play with him and smells absolutely disgusting and refuses to go deal with “the issue” with a gigantic tantrum, my support wanes!  And the lying!  That’s about the worst behaviour to me, and the fact that he’s such a pro, so early, is horrifying.  Plus, everything is a battle.  I am racking my brain constantly, trying to come up with ways to give him more control, to give more choices, to not have so many limitations, but nothing works.  As per my unfortunate nature, I am overanalysing everything more than almost humanly possible and at this point am fairly certain that he’s going to grow up to be a bad person, we’ll have a horrible relationship and it’s all my fault. 

He turned 3 ½ today, and I remember my Mom always doing something little and fun on my ½ birthday (maybe because it was so close to Christmas?).  Anyway, I think it’s fun and it’s always fun to celebrate a kid and see their excitement over the attention and a “birthday”.  Except this kid right now….I officially baked in Australia and made him cupcakes out of a mix, and gave him a little toy I had leftover from the airplane entertainment bag.  The family came over and we sang to him and made a little show of it.  He was thrilled and I was in love, then he lied to me at bath time and threw a tantrum at bedtime……

All in all, today was a bit of a downer.  It’s not like moving states where you can keep some of your comforts.  I am realizing that I have literally left everything I know.   And it’s a horrible practice to compare and expect similarities, but I’m having a pity party right now so…..(how can I honestly expect much more from my 3 year old, when I can be this out of sorts and up and down?!)

We checked out the local Y today (my favourite place back home and most frequent hangout).  Like so many things, it seemed horribly overpriced, and again, like many things, about a third the size and not as sleek and “tricked out” as my Y.   Great pool, but no chairs near it-is that because of the cooler season still here or because they don’t encourage lounging by the pool and gossiping with friends while the kids play?  The child watch area was lovely and the woman who worked in there was super friendly and helpful (I’m mentioning the positives even though they don’t lend much credit to my pity party, because they are true—this really is a great place with great people).

Then we got this absolutely gorgeous, sleek Smartphone, a far cry from the flip phone I just had.  This thing can do anything—-maybe even potty train my son!  But, then I realized I have no one to call on it. 

After that we checked out the local library.  Drew asked, “Where are the toys?”.  It was a cute, little, library and seems to have some great kids’ programs, but even mine noticed that the fancy kids area they’re accustomed to with a fish tank, puzzles, a train table, kids’ computers and learning games, is not to be found here.  The kids’ story times do seem to promote the parents meeting and getting to know each other more, though—a baby’s one was finishing up and the parents had on nametags and the library had furnished “morning tea” (a snack).  However, it’s monthly, not weekly.   And you can’t moan about what the place is missing to anyone, because of course everyone here thinks everything here is the greatest stuff on earth, as most people do about their hometowns, which is in reality a good thing to believe.

I saw a bunch of pictures on Facebook of a few friends at another friend’s baby shower this past Sunday and that made me sad.  I think on the one hand—thank goodness for Facebook, because I can stay up to date and hear from everyone so regularly.  But I wonder if it’s almost a bad idea, because it may make me hold on more instead of “out of sight, out of mind.”

I miss the Today show—funny how that was such a comforting routine.  And I miss Dancing with the Stars.  Nothing on TV here even makes sense to me.  It’s foreign—duh!   They do show Two and a Half Men on Tuesday nights here, which is just a few hours after it’s shown in the US really, and I guess we get to watch the current seasons of Parenthood and Grey’s Anatomy in January, so that’s not too long to wait……I do wish I could at least get my Yahoo news on my homepage—it only lets me have the Australian homepage and news.  But I am revolting against some of these Aussie spellcheck suggestions—they’re just not correct!

I did drive to the post office all by myself today!  I look like a moron trying to figure out which pieces of money to pay with, and apparently I need to learn how to use the new debit card I got. I also can’t get the date right.  Today is May 10th the way I write it!  I often try to get in on the wrong side of the car and I have to admit I did get lost on this two minute drive today that I did white knuckled on the left side of the road, in the right side of the car, but I did still find my way there and back.  So, I wonder, is it a bad sign that I got lost within a half mile of the house, or a good sign that I missed my turn but still managed to find my way?  Things that make me go “hmmmmmm”.

I know I have several people that actually enjoy reading these jumbled thoughts that do love me.  And we have great people here.  I am very blessed.  And, I know that deep down, my boys are precious and when I go look at them in a minute while they sleep, my eyes will well up with the love in my heart for them.  It’s hard to be foreign, but it’s an experience not many people get to have, and it is an amazing privelege and one to relish.  I will get some rest and enjoy the sunshine tomorrow! 

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